Shortly after I began to study the Feldenkrais Method in lessons and classes, I experienced a very interesting “side effect.” Along with the increased body awareness and improved capacities that began to develop, my unconscious “woke up.” I began to dream vividly every night, and to remember my dreams. This was unusual, as I rarely remembered dreams at that time. In fact, I thought it had been at least 10 years since I remembered a single dream. Here is one of the dreams that began an amazing journey!
“I was hosting a party, and the guests were arriving, milling about, and having a good time. I was dressed in a beautiful evening gown, so it was quite a party, with what seemed like celebrities and other luminaries in attendance. I also realized that I was greeting my guests in the entryway of my home — which was the Biltmore mansion!
In my dream, the entryway was spacious and airy. Behind me was the entrance to what seemed to be a vast library. Rich wood-paneled walls and leaded-glass windows adorned the entrance to the library, which was also paneled, richly appointed, with books on shelves from the floor to the very high ceiling, as far as the eye could see. It almost felt as vast as the stacks at the Library of Congress! As I continued to greet my guests, out of the corner of my eye, I looked over my left shoulder and saw what I thought were flames inside the library! I calmly excused myself, and moved swiftly into the library to see what was going on. Indeed, a fire was raging, quickly overtaking the entire room. I realized a person was standing next to me — a butler or something. He/she/it said, “everything is fine. There is nothing to worry about. Take your guests outside.”
I left the library, closing the door behind me. I ushered my guests out of the entryway and out onto the porch, a lush green lawn sprawling ahead of us. The party continued.”
Of course, this dream is full of symbology. It moved and puzzled me deeply. I soon joined a dream interpretation group, led by a Jungian analyst, in order to make sense of this new development. The dreams seemed important in some way, although I didn’t know why — and I wanted to find out.
The prophetic element was that my home in the dream — was bigger and more wonderful — rich, even — than I knew. (Your home is you — “where you live,” who you really are.) The “Biltmore:” — I was beginning to “build more” into my life. The library was all of my stored wisdom, history, culture — information received from outside sources. It was being destroyed. However, fire is also a symbol of cleansing and transformation. My thoughts and ideas, all my ways of doing things, were in for a huge reorganization! And yet, even in the face of this crisis, I knew that everything would be fine. My “guests” continued to have a great time at the party — in fact, I had the sense that things got even better as we got away from the library. And so, the dream put me on notice that I was on the verge of a lot of newness, and “the old” was no longer available — in fact, it was probably dangerous, even life-threatening, to go back into the burning library. I would begin to relate to people in new ways, outside of what I knew at the time.
It took almost a year, but the dream proved to be accurate. My life changed completely and dramatically in 2002. I chose to re-build my life and came to Houston to do it. The dream has remained precious to me, now almost 10 years later, in light of a quotation from Moshe Feldenkrais. He said that the Feldenkrais Method would help people to realize their “vowed and unavowed dreams.” I think about that almost every day, as I help others to “build more” in their lives.