#reverb10 – Day 17 – Lesson Learned

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Prompt: Lesson learned. What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward? (Prompt submitted by Tara Weaver) [What is this?]

The best lesson I learned about myself, in terms of, the lesson in which I most  liked the outcome and am willing to embrace it as part of my self-image and self-definition from now on:  I am someone who can seriously get shit done.

As a solo entrepreneur in private practice for the past eight years, I am project oriented and enjoy the variety and opportunities that arise from working in this way.  I’ve learned that I can accomplish massive amounts of progress if I am working within my skill set, believe in the project, and am enjoying myself.  If I must over-reach, or do something that I’m not crazy about — the motivation, spark, and forward impetus are zippo, nada, kaput — gone gone.  And — I’ve learned that I like to collaborate with one or two people at most — or do the project myself.  No more committees, ever.  I’ve learned that they are a waste of my time. You don’t want me on a committee, because I’ll be unhappy, and you’ll never get the best I have to offer.  My soul longs to be free and express itself. This way of being is diametrically opposed to everything that the committee process stands for.  I learned that I have influence, and I learned that I enjoy “using my powers for good.”

The best lesson I learned about myself, in terms of, the lesson that is most valuable, significant, disarming, and requires continual re-examination and refinement, perhaps a life’s work:  the world that I see and experience is a reflection of my interior state.

If I fear lack; sources of income disappear.  If I feel secure, plenty more flows my way.  If I begrudge the faults of others, and their failure to live up to my expectations, the world becomes a lonely place.  If I appreciate the good qualities in everyone I meet, especially those closest to me, they blossom and reveal strengths that were previously unknown.

This is disturbing because the truth is uncompromising:  “If it’s to be, it’s up to me.”  I don’t believe it is magical, just miraculous.  As Emerson counseled, I must “stand guard at the doorway of my mind.”  My attitude, my feelings, my vision of what is possible in a situation — CREATES my world.

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